Alternative Encouragements to Support Job Seekers

Look, my job hunt is my job hunt, and it’s no one else’s responsibility. Still, when I talk about it with people – as seems to have been the case over the past few months – I have noticed the same sort of responses over and over again.

They are the “I’m sorry for your loss” of the job seeker. Generic and performative, fulfilling their role, but not really helping. I get it. There’s not much to say, anyway, but why not try to be a little creative?

These five I’ve heard multiple times, and while I thank you for your contributions, I encourage everyone to come up with new ways to engage with us lowly creatures who know not full-time employment.

Then again, I suppose part of the onus is on me not to be unemployed anymore….

1. It takes time

You know what doesn’t take time?

No, seriously, I’m waiting.

This is a great way to say nothing while guising your nothingness in sympathy and support. At that point, why bother?

How about instead, you just tell us how amazing and accomplished we are so that at least we can feel valued while all this time is happening?

2. You’ll find something soon

No I won’t. You and I both know that. After all, doesn’t it take time? Drop the pleasantries and the unfounded hope. You don’t know what the future holds. Besides, we may have very different ideas of what “soon” means anyway.

Instead, tell me about a time it took you months and months to land a contract. Let’s commiserate instead of fantasizing together. And if you didn’t have that problem, then tell me how easy your job hunt was so I can hate you a little more. At least I have a place to focus my rage, right?

3. Don’t be too picky

Be careful who you say this to, please. I heard it – and heeded it – when I was a newbie fresh out of college and jobs were ways to cut my teeth on the world of business and whatnot. But now, nearly twenty years later, trying to move my life in a certain direction and use my skills and education for something meaningful isn’t picky.

But if it is, then I accept it. I am picky.

Instead, why not suggest a company or idea I may not have thought of into the mix? I never imagined I’d go into marketing many years ago, but a few gentle suggestions opened me up to it.

“Hey, Bryan, I heard the circus is hiring new people to shoot out of canons. Maybe you can bend your CV that way?” would be more a good start.

4. It’s all a crapshoot

This is unhelpful, not least because when I do find a job, it makes it feel like I was playing the slots. It’s a little more nuanced than that, isn’t it?

Instead, why not propose help if you know anyone in an adjacent industry, and if you have no help to give, make it known. I’d rather hear a bit of honesty than a disparaging remark at the overall state of job recruitment that only makes me feel worse.

Plus, if you hook me up with a former colleague or two, then I will leave you alone and go hound them, instead. It’s a win-win.

5. It will happen when it happens

I find myself saying this to myself sometimes, and while true, because things only do happen when they happen, it is wasted oxygen. Let’s be real. There’s no better way to shrug off someone’s struggle – or your own – than by using this phrase.

I understand though, there’s no forcing destiny, or whatever force is laughing at us. But at that point, crack a joke instead. It’s oxygen better spent. I could use the laugh.

In the end, perhaps it’s best to save all of your words and do what every job seeker really wants you to do: buy them a drink.

My order’s an old fashioned. Thanks.