Woes of the Job Hunt: But What If It Actually IS Me?

During this year-long job hunt, friends keep telling me, “It’s not you,” or, “It’s tough out there for everyone.”

That may be true, but there’s a certain deterioration of confidence that comes with constant rejection that these affirmations can’t combat. After all, with a hot labor market over the past few months having recently cooled a bit, there has only been one constant factor this whole time: me.

I have to ask at some point. Is it actually me that’s the problem?

You’re shaking your head no, and I know that’s the logical response, too. Logic, however, has seemed to left the building a long time ago.

Losing the Plot Here

I have interviewed for jobs left and right at all levels, hearing over and over that I am too senior for this role, not qualified enough for this one, or just not a right fit for some vague unspecified reason. Fine.

An HR worker recently told me I should be getting bombarded with recruitment requests. I simply responded with, “Haha, don’t tease me.”

When you’re filling out a job application for a job you are already working at, you start to lose the plot.

I have even worked at a full time teaching job that required me to reapply for the exact same job to be able to continue working it – for weird administrative reasons – that simply left me scratching my head. When you’re filling out a job application for a job you are already working at, you start to lose the plot.

This is where I’m at today – and I’m not alone. Friends in the U.S. and Europe have joined me in commiserating the demise of a lie we were all sold, that lots of education and hard work and patience would pay off big time. I am fortunate to have occasional odd jobs and a freelance income to keep me afloat, but they are all temporary fixes to a larger can that keeps getting kicked down the road. Isn’t it OK to want more stability and certainty?

This weird job limbo is just another hitch in life’s plan to derail millennials, perhaps a final deathblow to retaliate for all that avocado toast we’ve been eating.

As the year comes to a close, perhaps it’s time to step back and ask the question that we’re not supposed to ask. “What’s wrong with me?”

Ask the Question Already!

I’m asking it, over and over, and the answers are trickling in, because, to be fair, a lot is wrong with me. My expectations for an appropriate salary are too high. My desire to work a job that I don’t hate is too strong. My goal of working just one job instead of multiple jobs is foolhardy. My hope to add something positive to the world through a career hinders my ability to secure a new role.

If I sucked it up and worked for ExxonMobil, I’d probably make bank. If I joined Fox News, I’m sure I could carve out a pretty little existence. If I accepted that I’ll have to moonlight forever after working a full-time job to live in one of these ridiculous cities that I keep living in, I’d be less resentful.

That’s on me.

I know I should change, but it’s just too damned hard, y’all.

Realistically, maybe I’m not spending enough extra hours tweaking my resumes and cover letters over and over and over again to trick the AI bots that are scanning them (I try). Maybe I’m not spending enough time networking online with people who could care less about me just to get a job at their company (Sorry for spamming you!). Maybe I’m looking in the wrong industry entirely (Should have done that medical degree).

Or maybe I did everything right and just have really bad luck.

What To Do?

The point is, I could question it all for weeks and it wouldn’t change a thing. So I, and others like me, are suffering the consequences of approaching midlife — when our parents had families and homes and mortgages — with the gnawing realization that a fulfilling career is far from a given.

There’s no stress there at all. Nope. None at all. Zilch.

[TKTK Insert something here about soldiering on, etc. etc.]

Whine, whine, whine. I know, I know, but I’m not pointing any fingers or blaming anyone. It’s no one’s fault, really.

Well, except my own.

I guess I should go see if ExxonMobil is hiring today…